Old Neighbours Become New Friends

I had continued kissing and sucking her boobs but, just as an experiment, I ran my teeth over the plump, firm gumdrop of her nipple and she started trembling and writhing. I felt my finger inside her pussy being squeezed, and I suddenly realized that I had made Mattie cum! I was amazed it had happened so fast. I pulled my finger from inside her and looked at the shine of her juice coating it. I noticed Mattie watching me as, a little nervously, I put the finger in my mouth and sucked it. I had expected her to taste the same as me, but as I told her, she tastes different, much nicer. She tastes richer, tangier and it made me wish that I'd had the chance to lick her the way she had me.

As we lay together cuddling, Mattie asked if I was okay, and how I felt about having had lesbian sex with her.

"I'm amazed that I'm lying here naked with you and that that this has happened. It wasn't like I expected," I admitted, thinking about how much more her mouth had done to make me cum than her fingers had. "The orgasms you gave me were unbelievable," I told her, but also that I was sorry that I hadn't been able to lick her pussy as she did to mine. Mattie replied we didn't have to do everything the first time. Yes! She was happy for us to make love again and I was overjoyed that she had enjoyed what I'd done so much.

"Veena, you were brilliant," she told me, and that her tits were "completely in love" with me. She asked me how I felt about my sexuality, meaning whether I was happy being gay or bisexual. I told her I wasn't sure what I was but that I was completely happy to have made love to her. I tried to explain how this was sort of the next step in the closeness I'd come to feel for her over the weeks, and I loved it. I kissed her just to show her I meant it and told her I loved her.

We made love again and this time I licked her to orgasm, my mouth and tongue exploring the hot, soft flesh of her pussy. I was nervous at first, but Mattie was patient, telling me what felt good and what didn't feel as nice. She helped me not to rush making her cum but when she did -- wow! She tasted even better that time.

We ordered in pizza and I resented pulling on the bathrobe to answer the door when it was delivered. I brought it back to bed, and we sat naked as we ate it together. When a piece of mushroom accidentally dropped off and landed on the top of my boob, Mattie immediately leaned in and nibbled it off me, licking me clean. I'm sure the slice of pepperoni on her boob wasn't an accident but I dealt with it in the same way!

I didn't sleep much that night. It wasn't all sex; the excitement of what was happening kept me awake. I don't know if my restlessness disturbed Mattie or if she too simply couldn't sleep, but there were lots of cuddles and kisses and dozing in each other's arms. We didn't talk about the future and she didn't ask again about how I felt, and I was grateful for that.

Not surprisingly, we slept late and when I woke I was aware of the smell of female sex on our bodies, on the bedclothes and in the air. It made me feel, I don't know, happy and content and, yes, in love. I whispered "I'm a lesbian" to myself to see how I felt about it.

"Are you?" Mattie asked. I wasn't quite sure how to answer. I liked the idea, but there was nervousness too and uncertainty about whether one night of love made me a lesbian or qualified me to call myself one. Perhaps I can only ever call myself bisexual.

"With you, I am, Matt my love," I told her, which seemed to be the truth of it. The other truth was that there and then (and here and now) I never want to not to be with her.

Mattie has gone up to her flat to get changed and sort some things out. I think she wants to give me time to think, but I've written this instead. So what do I think? The sex was incredible and so different from being with a man. Do I want more? Hell, yes! Am I gay, a lesbian? I don't know. In some ways, I wish making love with Mattie hadn't been quite so wonderful, because I now have to face telling people. I think most friends would be okay about it, if a bit shocked, but what about Katie, who seems at least a bit homophobic? And then there's my family, oh god: telling my sister will be bad but Mum and Dad. Shit, how will I ever manage that?

Chapter 6: Hesitation and uncertainty

Mattie

Driving home from work, I'm in a very happy mood: I'm coming home to Veena, who is now my lover! I still can't quite believe all this has happened and that Veena had been lusting after me, even while I'd been damning her as a sexy, attractive but unobtainable straight woman.

There is, once again, that little twinge of guilt at, well, dumping Roz on Sunday. I do wonder if she half expected something, given the way I'd rushed to see how Veena after she left on Saturday. I didn't tell her that Veena and I are a couple but instead said that I wasn't ready yet, that I didn't want to run the risk of hurting her. She said it was too late for that, that what I was doing now was hurting her and didn't I realize that she loved me? All I could do was apologise once more. Veena was grateful that I hadn't told Roz about us, even though I'd done it for Roz's sake, not hers.

I phoned Kayleigh and Emma. Veena was worried and in a whisper asked, "You're not going to tell them are you?" I had thought I would, but didn't; instead, I just told them about Roz. Kay said that she'd call Roz and maybe she and Em would take her out to 'The Full Moon' next weekend. I was very grateful as I really hated upsetting Roz and she deserves the chance to meet someone special.

I am a little concerned: I do hope that Veena realizes that our relationship is a big deal for me too and it's not just about her. However, it is only midweek on our first week together so I suppose she's still coming to terms with her lesbianism, or at least being a 'Mattiesexual' as she put it yesterday.

"Hi honey, I'm home!" I call as I let myself into her flat using the key she gave me on Monday, immediately after I gave her a key to mine. Veena hurries out from the main room, a look of concern on her face.

"Oh, er, hi Mattie What are you like, you joker?" she says awkwardly. "Erm, Katie popped in to, er, see me. She's having a cup of coffee, er, come on though." I wonder what the hell the issue is, why she's being quite so stand-offish. When I see the woman, Katie, I recall her -- and her homophobic comments. I sort of understand that this must be uncomfortable but I also recall Veena standing up and defending me and her friendship with me. Now she's barely looking at me. "Katie, You remember my friend Mattie don't you?"

"Hello Katie," I say a little warily, offering my hand, which she takes a little reluctantly as if homosexuality is somehow contagious. As an alternative to shouting at her, I ask Veena if there's anything I can do to help get supper sorted and she asks if I can peel the potatoes and carrots. I take refuge in the kitchen, peeling the spuds, cutting them up and putting them on to boil. I peel the carrots and I'm just clearing up when I hear the front door close and shortly after I feel Veena's arms around my waist as she hugs me from behind.

"Hello darling," she says, planting a kiss on the back of my neck. Although It feels lovely, I'm upset with her.

"Veena, what was she doing here?" I ask.

"She's my friend and she just popped round," she replies defensively.

"Your friend? Like I'm just your friend? "

"Mattie, you're so much more than just..."

"That's what you called me, isn't it? 'My friend, Mattie'" There is a catch in my voice as I interrupt her, fighting to contain my upset.

"I... oh Mattie I'm sorry. It's just Katie's a bit, well, uncomfortable with homosexuality, you know? And I couldn't... Mattie, she couldn't be the first person that I come out to," she pleads for understanding and forgiveness. I relent; she is forgiven and I pull her into a hug.

"Okay, I do understand I suppose," I tell her, "it's just..." I want to say, 'I just want you to admit that our relationship is real, that we're lovers,' but I'm afraid to put too much pressure on her. "No, never mind. What's for dinner, my love?"

"Chicken tikka, rice and mixed vegetable curry, if that's okay?" She snuggles against me and I feel her caressing my back.

"Sounds yummy," I say as I try to tell myself to be patient with her and allow her time to accept her new sexuality. She is affectionate and loving; passionate in bed and I love her. I'm certain she loves me too, so why am I so afraid that she's going to break my heart?

Raveena's Diary

Friday 7 June

I phoned little sister this evening. Mattie was sat on the sofa reading but as soon as I said "Hi, Vasanta," I saw her look up briefly. She looked down again immediately, but I could tell she was listening. I knew why, of course: she wants me to tell my sister about us and to 'come out' for the first time.

I ask Vasanta how she's doing, how her pregnancy is going and she tells me she's fine, though she's getting some bouts of morning sickness; it sounds horrible. It makes me wonder why Mum is so keen to have the two of us reproducing. Actually, I do know: she wants to be Grandma, though she'll probably be 'Daadi' if my dubious grasp Gujarati is correct. I hope Roger has no plans on being called Daddy or their child will be very confused! I point all this out to Vasanta and her reply was "Oh no, do you think so? We've never called her 'Mahta'. I'll have to talk to Mum." We agree that Dad will probably be happy with 'Grandad' or maybe 'Gramps'.

Apart from the morning sickness, Vasanta says she and bump are doing well. She has her first ultrasound scan next week and she's promised to send me a copy of the picture.

"So, how's auntie-to-be Raveena doing?" she asks. "Anything or anyone new and exciting happened to my singleton sister?"

This was it; this was my time to tell her... and I couldn't. "Um, no, no one, not at the moment; I'm just seeing friends and my neighbour, um, Mattie." I felt stressed and upset and hugely disappointed with myself but glad when shortly after we said our goodbyes and rang off.

I looked over to Mattie and started to speak, to tell her about the call. She interrupted with a curt, "I heard... all of it." She threw the book down as I realized that she had overheard what Vasanta was saying too. Shit. "I'm going out for a smoke," she said and when I offered to come she said she no, that she preferred to be on her own. The apology that I called after her made no difference.

She's been gone a long time, but I haven't dared follow for fear of making it worse as I have no idea what to say to her. I need to go to bed as I have to be up tomorrow morning. It looks like I'll be alone tonight for the first time since our first lovemaking.

Saturday 8 June

Mattie eventually climbed into bed with me last night; I'm not sure what time as I'd been asleep. It was very late, and she was cold as she cuddled up against me from behind. I told her I was sorry for not telling Vasanta and she said, "No, I'm sorry. I love you Veena." She means it, but there's a sadness in her voice too. Even so, when I turned to face her, she kissed me and I kissed her back, desperate to prove how much I love her.

I'm leaving Mattie tucked up in bed still asleep: it's time to go or I'll be late for work. I don't work many Saturdays; why did today have to be one of them?

Mattie

When I woke yesterday, it was to find myself alone in Veena's bed. I was confused at first, worried that my walking out for hours last night was being repaid in kind. However, I remembered that Veena had to work this morning. Damn; I should have got up and given her a lift in.

I was so upset that she hadn't told her sister about us. Am I being unreasonable? Am I expecting too much too soon from her? Perhaps, but I'm also terrified that she'll never commit, always be unsure of her sexuality, always prey to meeting Mr Right and the chance to live a conventional life: heterosexual love, marriage and, of course, kids like her sister. The fact that all these things are apparently so important to Veena's Mum doesn't help.

It's so hard to make out Veena's real feelings; maybe it's that she's so mixed up she doesn't know herself. I hope her feelings for me are real because mine for her sure as hell are. I have decided that all I can do is to love her as completely as I'm able, to help her accept her sexuality and win her as a girlfriend, lover and partner -- forever. It scares me though.

When we made love last night I tied to make it as good for her as possible. I hope I succeeded: I think I did; I certainly loved all she did to me, especially when she began by making me lie on my front and started her lovemaking by massaging me from head to toe! I've got to get her to teach me so I can do the same for her.

This morning I am woken by my phone ringing, and with a sigh, I get up and rummage through my discarded clothes to find it. The screen tells me two things: that we've slept later than usual -- since it's twenty to ten in the morning -- and that it's Emma calling. "Hi Emma," I say when I answer.

"Hi, Mattie, where the hell are you?"

"I'm at home," I tell her, a little nervously; it seemed a strange question for what was still relatively early on a Sunday morning.

"Mattie, either your doorbell's broken or your fibbing! Kayleigh and I have been ringing the bell for the last five minutes! We're driving down for a day out in Brighton, so we decided to stop by and see if you wanted to come. Where on Earth are you? You're surely not with Roz are you?" My apprehension must have shown because a quizzical look crosses Veena's sleepy face. She mouthes 'What's the matter?' to me.

"No, I'm not with Roz," I reply to Emma. "Hang on a moment," I say before covering the phone to whisper to Veena. "It's Emma and Kayleigh; they're downstairs, buzzing the intercom to my flat. They came over because they're driving down to Brighton for the day and wanted to know if I wanted to come with them. What the fuck should I say?"

"Could we just get dressed quickly and you say you'd popped in for some reason?" she asks.

"Um, yes and no. I mean we could," I tell her, talking hurridly, "but as soon as they get close, like when they kiss me to say hello, they're going to know exactly what I, that is we, have been up to."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Veena, they're two gay women; they know bloody well what girl-on-girl sex smells like!" She nods but looks very anxious. I can see her struggling with alternatives.

"Can't we, you know, ask them to wait five minutes then come up? We could quickly shower..."

"Again, we could," I interrupt, conscious of Emma waiting on the phone, but give Veena a slight smile. "However, when they see us both with wet hair they're going to draw some pretty damning and accurate conclusions as to what we've been doing." She nods again, reluctantly accepting this, but she's still struggling. I don't want to make this any harder on her, but I need to be honest. "Veena, Kay and Em are my really good friends, my next best friends after you. They helped me so much after Lisa left and not telling them about us has been very hard for me..."

She takes a deep breath. "Fuck it: tell them, Mattie," she says in a resigned tone. "At least, tell them to come up in five minutes and see what they say."

"I'll put it on loudspeaker so you can hear. We do love each other, don't we?" I say and she nods again, gently biting her lip. "Sorry, Em," I say into the phone. "Okay, well I'm not at home. Actually, I'm in Flat Three... with Veena." Immediately the entry phone here starts to buzz."Em, hang on," I tell her, "you'll need to wait a five minutes before you come up so Veena and I can, er, just get ready."

"What do you mean 'get ready'," Emma asks. Although her voice tinny in the loudspeaker, I can hear she's intrigued.

"Sounds suspicious," Kayleigh's voice is muffled, but she's obviously listening in. "Ask her how long she's been at Number Three." I look at Veena who gives a slightly nervous half-smile and shrugs.

"Tell them," she whispers.

"Um, all night, actually," I confess and there's a shriek from Emma.

"No way! Mattie, you seductress!" The entry phone immediately starts buzzing once again.

Veena climbs out of bed and picks up her bathrobe. "I might as well let them in," she says, "as the cat is obviously out of the bag." She sounds nervous but also a little relieved, maybe. As she pulls her robe on, I half wrap myself in the bedsheet. Veena looks at my semi-naked state questioningly.

"Don't worry," I assure her, "I've encountered Kay and Em both wearing far less when I've visited them on occasions!" This comment doesn't seem to comfort her as much as I'd hoped. When we open the door, both women have huge grins as they come in, simultaneously congratulating both of us.

Veena leads the way with Em following. Kayleigh leans in and whispers, "Mattie, is this a good idea: you and her?"

I cannot completely hide my worries as I reply quietly, "Yes, I think so... I hope so. I do love her, Kay, and Veena loves me, I know it."

"I hope so too. Just remember, Em and I are here for you, whatever." She leans in and kisses my cheek, then laughs and says loudly, "Wow, smells like you two have been having fun!" I feel my cheeks flush bright red, and I notice the subtle darkening of Veena's shocked face as she turns, showing she's just as embarrassed. It proves that I was right about Kay and Em smelling out our lovemaking though.

"Right," I say, "just for that, the two of you can wait until Veena and I have showered before we make you coffee. Come on Veena, love." I reach past Emma to grab Veena's hand, pulling her towards the bathroom.

"Okay, but try not to be too long," Emma tells us.

"Or too noisy!" Kay calls, embarrassingly, after us.

A little while later -- not too much later: we didn't spend that long in the shower together -- Veena and I are sat in the back of the car heading towards Brighton. She leans against me as we hold hands, with Kay and Em in the front, Em doing the driving. There have been plenty of questions about the two of us, and quite a few directed at Veena regarding her feelings for me. She told them, as she had me, that she was certainly a lesbian as far as I was concerned, calling herself a 'Mattiesexual' again. With a lull in the questions, I ask her if she is okay. "Yes, I am. I'm sorry for being such a wuss about us being together."

"It's okay," I tell her again. "I'm sorry for being impatient," I ask the other two about Roz.

"We met up with her at 'The Full Moon' on Friday evening," Emma tells me. "She was okay, I guess."

"We had a good evening, Mattie and Roz enjoyed herself, I think. She danced with some other women during the evening, and she seems much more confident, you know, being with women. Hopefully, she'll find someone soon and be glad that you and she slept... oh, um."

"It's okay," Veena tells her, "I know she and Mattie slept together. It was seeing them together that sort of brought out how I feel about Mattie; I was so upset because I thought I'd missed my chance with her." I think Veena's answer might help Kayleigh to understand why I've taken this chance with her.

It is a lovely day in Brighton: the sun is bright and warm, though the breeze off the sea is a little chilly, particularly in the shade. We walk down through The Lanes and decide to split into couples to explore the idiosyncratic shops and boutiques that line the narrow streets. We agree to meet back at the Starbucks on Market Street at one o'clock, before Veena and I wandered off on our own.